Vetoed Virginity

What do you get when you cross a tipsy AJ with an attractive drunk ginger with wavy hair and abs ? You get them having sex.

Thats gotta be the worst starting line to any blog. Somebody high five me. 

Let me start from the beginning of how this all went down. So I went to the skip day party with some  friends from my old school and met up with T (the attractive ginger with wavy hair and abs). T and I have been friends for 7 years, He and I flirt alot cause we are kinda both players in a way, we change our minds a lot. Im the girl version of him and he's the boy version of me. Except he gets drunk and I get tipsy. Anyways T and I hung out all night at the party 9:30pm-1:30am then he was way past his drinking limit and was barfing his guts out. To drunk to call his Dad I called his Dad to pick us up. I was T's crutch for the night, the one to help him walk, and get home, and the one to just be there even when it meant making sure he doesn't barf on his shoes. Anyways I helped him waver his was to his bedroom which was downstairs. (never try walking down the stairs at night when your drunk) It was just cuddling, which turned into making out and the more then that and then boombadaboom hello there.I left in the morning before he woke up, dont ask me why I just thought it would be better that way. Now him and I dont talk all that much, oh well who cares. actually I kind of do care but theres nothing I can do about it. 

So I learned my lesson. Dont drink, dont have sex, and dont be friends with a ginger for seven years because they dont actually have souls. (Just kidding I was a ginger once we do have souls) represent! Im gonna go now. Please dont think I'm a slut. Im just a troubled human. Mistakes are mistakes. I cant change the past. 

⋆ AJ over and out ⋆

~Update~

Wow I have not  blogged in such a long while! So much has happened! (Not) well thats not entirely true, some things have happened. 

1.] on Friday theres a party I got invited to, its the grad skip day party {I'm not even graduating I'm in grade 11}  woot woot. I also got the invite to sleep in the guy i kinda likes tent, oh hell yussss. Im bringing Briar and Jetta to this party, their first party!!!!!!! 

2.] Briar and I had a sleep over in the yearbook room, which resulted in us waking up each hour in fear of getting caught and because the janitors make loads of noise until 1ish in the morning, we also learnt from this experience that the janitors do not clean the yearbook room. 

3.] I told Radio she was a bitch. The senerio went as following. I was late for class because I took a shower, being 15 minuets late doesn't concern my english teacher so i just went to my Shakespeare group in the hall without checking in. Radio is in my group. 

Radio: you need to check in you're late. 

Me: I dont care

Radio: (at the top of her lungs yelling) AJ was late she wasn't here now she is. (Smugly smiles) 

Me: Are you trying to be a bitch in the morning because its working. 

Radio: Im just letting out some of my inner rage 

Me: Maybe I should let out some of mine. 

End of senerio. 

Man I hate her. She ought to learn how to be not such a bitch, especially in the morning.  

4.] Briar has some exciting promising boy news! Ill let her share it with you! 

5.] I dont like anyone currently. Just kinda. I just like the idea of a boyfriend more then the actually commitment of it. 

6.] Jetta dyed her hair blonde. She looks like a barbie. 

7.] History class sucks but I should take some notes. 

AJ over and out

BellyUp

Okay lets take a moment to look at my belly. 

Jetta and I endured getting our belly buttons pierced. Actually it was more like Jetta sat there and didn't feel the needle go in and I sat there and almost shat myself because it hurt like a bitch. Most painful thing of life. I cant wear a shirt hardly cause it hurts to much so now I'm  borrowing my best guy friends shirts so I can breath without it feeling like I'm about to explode. Over bloated water melon is the equivalent to the feeling I currently feel. Tomorrow we are driving on a crammed bus for the whole day.  yippee. Or not. I plan to sleep a majority of the ride. Im going to pack now because out hotel room looks like the after math of hurricane sandy. 

Goodnight 

AJ over and out 

Fed up

Today is wednesday, the last day that I went to school was last thursday. Almost one full week I have not been at school. I hate school.Actually I despise it. If I could drop out I probably would except I know that I want a good future (one that involves my parents being somewhat proud of me). I can honestly say Ive never really felt this lost before though.  

Lately I have found that interacting with other people just really makes me sick, like actually physically throughing up and a bad migraine. Twenty four seven. I dont know if its because every aspect of my life just keeps piling up like extra baggage I dont need, or maybe because Im so sick and tired of how much change is going on around me. I hate change,I like to know what going on and whats going to happen next. I also hate waiting and surprises which normally go hand in hand, which would explain my strong dislike for my birthday,christmas, pop quizzes, meeting someone I've never herd of before and any form of anticipation or not knowing. 

Surprise.

Now you know. 

People change and Im sure Im one of them. I only have close friends because bestfriends is an over used term and somedays the "best" friend turns into the "I really would love to slap some sense into you" friend. Ive certainly had those friends (still do) and I've most likely been that friend who should have been slapped. 

Ive decided this blog is going to be a hate rant. Brace yourself this could get ugly. 

Welcome to my hate list ladies and gentlemen . (Just kidding I'm talking to myself because no one reads this blog.) 

•I hate that nobody reads this blog except Jetta, Briar, and I.  I wish we could use our real names and tell people about this blog, but nooooooooo.  

•I hate meat. I like chicken. Meat is just plain gross I could care less if it was an animal, I just downright dislike the taste,not a fan. 

•I hate when people change just for someone else and dont even realize it, and then they ditch their closest friends table for the dance just because farmer doesn't like the table group she picked and to make matters worse Jetta claims she doesn't like him but then why does she do what he wants and do what will make him happy? 

OPEN YOUR FRICKING EYELIDS JETTA. you deserve better then him.... AND WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CHICKS BEFORE DICKS? 

•I hate being adopted, I wish I knew who I laughed like,talked like, and over all am like. 

•I hate spaghetti.looks like worms in some form of planet Mars dirt. 

•I hate coming home from school and getting told that we have an event where we will be attending as a family. FOR PETES SAKE ASK ME FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF TELLING ME. 

•I hate the feeling of anxiety. 

•I hate my school because people dig into the past and use it against me. Not fair. I left my old school to get away from that. If you have that much time on your hands do something more beneficial for everyone.....for instance testing out the theory of skydiving without a parachute. thank you.

•I hate having adhd. I hate bring medicated. I feel cadged. 

•I hate the color orange it repulses me! You could offer me an expensive orange Prada bag for free and I would decline. Except for the fruit the orange, I'm fine with that. I hate Cheetos they're orange. 

•I hate having to do piano exams in August. August is my birthday month, happy birthday to me....I dont understand why you need to get tested,as if it proves anything! I can tickle the ivories. As my mom puts it.

ladefrickingduh. 

If they want to test me for anything they should test to see if I'm sane. Oh wait....

•I hate feeling not accepted. I dont feel accepted at school. Im not super smart, Im not really all that athletic, I just know how to keep fit, Im not super pretty, and there are people who can sing a lot better then I can. I dont have a purpose at school, and at home my purpose is to dry and wash dishes. My younger brother is a child genius. Both my parent have masters in something. Welcome to my faBULLous life of being a black sheep (except I'm actually beige and not a sheep)

Sure, things happen in my life, but not really things that are gonna matter in ten years or even next month. 

Jetta is like Mozart and Einstein who got stuck in a blender and poured into a super models body. Briar's got the brains of Einstein and the looks of Rapunzel, then add a dash of the movie tangled, and it sums her up. They both have the doors wide open for they're future. Im Allura, I like food and complaining and Netflix, I am going to be sneaking out the window for my future. I dive head first into the shallow end for fun sometimes. (metaphorically speaking) Story of my life. 

•I like freshly cut grass, just kidding I hate it, It makes me cry and want to rip my eyeballs out from their very sockets. Im allergic.

Now this is where I conclude this blog,rant,post,ramble or whatever you call all THIS.

*imagine a mind blowing  conclusion blurb placed here*

★  AJ over and out  ★

Mirror Mirror

I think its call an epiphany. Where you come to the realization and you admit something. Like yesterday night I received a Facebook message from my old best friend last night. She and myself had a giant blow out last summer which resulted in her going back to our old school because I was a major bitch. Anyways I shall name her MirrorMirror because she and I are so similar, we mirror each others personality, style and opinions without even trying and without even consulting the each others opinions. 

She messaged me last night and we started talking again, catching up on every detail that we had missed from each others lives, remembering memories and planning new adventures like ones in the past. Together we were and now are double trouble. Kindred spirits. Queen Bees. Mirrored. 

Its crazy how I now have my old bestfriend back as my sister once again . She also might be coming back to my school!!! I am so pumped. Sometimes I feel like Im the only one who thinks crazy in my school (Briar and Jetta are FABULOUS dont get me wrong, but MirrorMirror and I do amped up crazy which is easy because her and I are both head strong,Bold and most definitely not guy shy)  MirrorMirror can practically read my mind from just a devious expression on my face. 

I just don't want all the drama that happened in grade 10 because of her and i getting into arguments, mind you they were mostly over Farmer. 

Oh yeah did I forget to mention Farmer and I had a thing last year ..... and MirrorMirror is Farmers exgirlfriend. MirrorMirror and I always land up going for the same guy. Except now she has a boyfriend to tame her down a bit. *amen* And I like a guy ;) (whose not her boyfriend) 

Well I have to go to choir. But I am so excited, hopefully this turns out for the best and if not then I'm in for a doozy. 

xoxo AJ over and out. 

P.S. It snowed here..... I thought this was spring..... LAME LAMAS

P.S.S. I told you so Jetta ;) 

Jettaplane

My dearest  Jetta,

First off Id love to just say a long over due "I told you so". You have no clue how long those words have been sitting in my very being just waiting to surface and be expelled from my fingertips onto the inter-webs. Lets face it Sissy I told you so and well ... it was so ... SO FRICKING RIGHT OF ME! because I TOLD YOU SO. Okay Im done, its out of my system. Just kidding you this is a glorious moment. I told you so young sapling.

 Also congratulations on being able to drive me around places legally. I am SOOO taking advantage of your legal driving skills from now on, so I say lets go celebrate and go shopping in the city. Then after we shop until we drop/run out of money I'll say to you I TOLD YOU SO because I can :) 

Anyways I love yaaaaaa Jettaplane, I  hope you are having fun with the polar bears, don't get mauled. Bring me home a cute eskimo.(I hear they're good kissers) 

AJ over and out

P.S. ~ 

JETTA COME HOME PLEASE 

P.S.S. ~

I told you so :) 

Tactful thinking/Dear Jetta

My friend SmokinGinger (she is a ginger and she smokes weed) anyways she pierced my second earrings for me today with a tac and an apple. What tactful thinking eh ;) (please applaud my fabulous pun)  Don't  worry she sterilized everything! Also she did Briars first holes. Heres a picture of my seconds. I had my cartilage and first done for a while. Anywhoha I hope you are reading this Jetta because you just missed such an eventful day. I hope you are having a fun time gallivanting around with the polar bears in the frozen ice location where you are at without me (teardrop). Also Jetta I skipped chemistry to chill with Blackbeauty and SmokinGinger, also the school dean is pregnant ( that means they had sex in school residents because thats where they live....thats so gross like actually). As I leave you on that wonderful note I am going to go curl up in a small ball with my fleece jets blanket and watch Heroes. xoxox AJ over and out 

And Jetta.... COME HOME 

Sadie Hawkins

Its the time of the year again which I extremely dread....Sadie Hawkins..... and it is quickly approaching (or it feels like that anyways) I have no clue who to ask or how to ask them. Sadie Hawkins for you who do not know is where the girl asks the guy to the school planned dinner and dance.  I have a few people in mind who Im considering as possibilities to ask to Sadie's, but there are pros and cons for each person and for the matter of actually asking them to go with me. The major con is that they might say no, which would be VERY embarrassing and I'd probably be reminded frequently of the fact that I got turned down. Pro's of me asking someone would be if they said yes, and if I got good pictures out of the night. 

 My list of people I could ask;

(Not in order)

My Ex

pro~we look good in pictures together,he's funny

con~he's my ex,I'd have to slow dance with him which could go over well or super awkward, He might wear his glasses which make him look like a super gay male model

Best way to get him to say yes to me: Tell him he's ugly and nobody else would want to go with him (which is totally not true but his ego is bigger then his dick so may as well kill two birds with one stone if you know what I mean) 

Okay to many negative things I am not asking Ex that would be retarded. Why would I even think of asking him? How many times was I dropped as a child? Did i just fall off a turnip truck?

Cardigan Boy

pro~we would have stylin' pictures together,He wears cute clothes, He's a gentleman and would feel to terrible to say no

con~He's a bit awkward, I don't talk to him a lot, He might not talk at all when we are together and I love to chat,ummm he's not really attractive (I say that as nicely as I can) 

Best way to get him to say yes to me: to say please 

Flow

pro~He is a super good friend, He's tall, Kinda cute

Con~ He needs a haircut and wont get one,His hair color is a nicer color then mine and would put me to shame in a picture.  He might show up high or drunk or both at the same time ( I think thats called crunked) 

Best way to make him say yes to me: bribe him or flash him

Well thats all I can think of so far for my list. 

Jetta will land up asking Farmer. Even though she swears up and down and all around she doesn't like him I know she does, you can just tell! And he likes her. All the bullcrap that he says about not wanting to commit to liking someone is hysterical, if you put him and Jetta in a room alone for an hour they'd be all over each other once they actually civilly talked face to face about whats going on between them. Trust me on that one.

Briar will most likely ask Knitter boy because even though she doesn't want to Jetta and I will convince her. Knitter boy so likes her and its so cute to see them interact, no words just quick glances at one other when the other is not looking. ADORABLE. Somedays I wish I was shy like that. 

I don't know why its pretty much mandatory that you ask a guy to go with you to be your date. Especially when theres zero to none good looking guys in the school you attend (Or maybe its just my school where all the weird and unattractive guys are sent) 

Oh well Sadie Hawkins wasn't such a panty dropper either,yet she got a date. So if she can do it I guess I can to.  (And if I cant then I'll transfer to a school filled with ugly girls to make me feel better about myself) 

★AJ over and out......of luck?

OUT. ~AJ

I've never hated myself more then I have now. People say I can get guys and I'm not saying this proudly but i can. I can get a guy but i can't hold on to them long enough. It's stupid. 

There's this guy who I recently dispise, but who i liked before. His name shall be named Trebs cause its his nickname. Anyway Trebs and i were best friends last year then he transferred schools. We didnt ever stop talking because hes my neighbor which is kinda cool. Him and I were playing truth or dare and he dared me to come over so I did and he kissed me. He told me he liked me and I being retarded believed his every word of that. He and I hung out twice more after that and we made out. (it was good not gonna lie) anyways a week later (which was last week Friday ) he sends me a message telling me  its to early to like me because we haven't hung out. UMMM HELLO WE HUNG OUT AND MADE OUT AND NOW YOU'RE ASKING ME TO GET OUT BECAUSE THE FELLINGS FELL OUT?!?!?!  to many outs. 

I feel so stupid. He used me for just making out. thats so retarded. Friendship ruined. Respect crushed. I dont want any other guys in my life, there is to much to loose. Yet I would make a terrible nun.  

AJ 

OVER AND OUT. 

OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT. 

Boys, Biology and Bubble Baths ~AJ~

The three B's is what my Today consisted of. Let me start of saying that I am currently in my bath tub under a mound of bubbles and I feel relaxed. RELAXED PEOPLE, I FEEL RELAXED. Isn't it such a beautiful word....relaxed. So here I contently soak behind locked doors with just me, myself, and the burn book.

 I have finally finished my wretched biology test review. Let me tell you it was no fun at all! I woke up at 10am and the after breakfast proceeded to the dreaded bio review and didn't surface until 5pm for supper. Now thats what I call a study session! 

Okay so maybe I wasn't studying the whole time. Maybe I was talking to my ex. Just maybe the topic of friends with benefits was brought to light and just maybe we are. Now replace the "maybe" with "okay yes". 

I admit that my feelings for my Ex are not completely gone but yet I also can not say that I have a "crush" on him because I don't. I think the reason that there are lingering feeling for him is because him and I never really experienced the "normal" awkwardness and the solitary stage that came after a break up. Ex and I just went back to being friends and like nothing ever happened. Maybe for him it was easy to pretend that nothing ever happened but for me it wasn't so easy, I tried to mask the hurt that I felt after we broke up by going on other dates and going back to bad  habits of flirting with anything with a dick. Nothing could honestly replace what I was missing....him. We had a lot in common but yet almost nothing in common at all. Him and I are both adopted (p.s. Im adopted,no joke) and he liked and thrived on sports like it was air,while I on the other hand was  comfortable cheering on the sidelines. We had and still have a good connection. It's just not exactly gravity balanced. I don't think that being friends with benefits will change the way we view each other because we've been there done that, if anything I think it will make our friendship just a little bit more trusting. 

Rereading through this I realized this sounds more like a self persuasive  talk.I don't even know... I guess maybe Im to curious for my own good? Im just kinda excited to see him! I cant deny Ive missed him in "that" sense. 

Well, I no longer have a blanket of bubbles so I think my relaxation time is over and its time to go back to my hectic life. 

AJ over and out 

p.s. Id love your advice,opinions and feedback. 

p.s.s. follow us on twitter @theburnbooktrio

Guys and Goldfish ~AJ~

You will never understand a guy. They are unpredictable and can turn into someone you barley know. There for I advise that instead of a man in your life you need a goldfish , because goldfish  can't shatter you're heart or expectations. Tomorrow Im going to buy a goldfish and give up guys until that damn goldfish dies.

xox AJ

I don't care that this is short, Im to flustered to blog anything further today.

High time ~AJ~

Hey y'all I hope you all had a good weekend! Im finally feeling normal enough to start blogging. Im gonna just jump to why I wasn't feeling normal. but ill begin with the back story of it. 

My best guy friend and I broke up about a month ago (now my ex boyfriend but we're still good friends)  Him and I are still pretty  close, and no I'm not over him because I'm just not. There is no better explanation I can give you. (this random starter fact will make sense at the end) (hopefully)

But anyways this weekend I got asked out on a date by this wonderful guy I'm going to call "L". He goes to our school. He's tall (tall guys are perfect because Im only like 5"4 ish', hes like 6"2') and he's cute, an has what I consider an acceptable hockey flow. L is the typical bad boy, good looks, good dresser, has his way with the ladies, and a history with partying and partying related "activities".  

My recall of my Friday night date

7:00 ish pm 

So here I was riding passenger with L driving after we had picked out the movie "Bad Grampa"  and L asks if we should go cruising or not, and of course me being all giddy and stuff like that I said yes. (idiot idiot idiot idiot) 

7:15 ish pm

Then he pulls out a water bottle, (ohhhahhhhh waterbottle)  but you see dear darlings this water bottle is a homemade bong which is used to smoke weed. We parked in a parking lot out in the outskirts of town and I got the offer to smoke a bong. (I had asked to do it once before christmas because I was super curious and wanted to impress L because ive liked him befor) but now this was for real, So I said sure (idiot idiot idiot) I did it once and coughed so hard i thought i had no throat, so I said okay no more for me. But then L being a "gentle man " helped me do it again though the right way except I inhaled to much that I coughed and suddenly felt like i was glitching.  well this is what high feels like....oh shit my parents are going to kill me. (sorry i swore,but it was my thoughts at that moment) 

I remember him giving me eye drops and I told him what about my mascara it might get ruined and He started to laugh at me. (but like honestly I'm still myself apparently when I'm high, worried about my make up  ha wow AJ way to be on your game props to me ). 

7:30pm

So we drove back to his house which I don't remember how I got to his basement I just remember sitting on his couch thinking how fuzzy my tongue was. He was beside me and I cuddled up to him and I closed my eyes (idiot idiot idiot) 

8:19 ish pm 

I felt like I was spiraling through all the wrong things I had done in my life and that I was going to gradually fall into hell, but then I realized I was super blazed and told L something or at least tried to but it came out as murmurs. He said something i don't remember what but the all of sudden  I was just sitting there on his couch and started crying,and sobbing that something  was wrong  and I wanted it to be gone.   and yes I cried with my mascara (which wasn't waterproof) and then there was him trying to comfort me and telling me not to cry and that id be alright the feeling would go away in a couple hours. (okay that was kinda cute but i felt like I was dying ,so no,not so cute) I couldn't breath and I couldn't stand properly on my own, he had to basically hold me to make it up the stairs after I cried for him  to drive me home. (I hate crying) 

In the car I was breathing so hard I was almost hyperventilating or thats what it felt like to me. I think he held my hand , I don't know maybe that was my hand holding my other hand . I dont know. 

This was also the first time i didn't kiss a guy goodbye when getting out of the car. (It was because my tongue felt like it was fuzzy like fleece) oh well he deserved not getting kissed that night. (no offense to him and all but it was kinda his fault I felt fuzzy ) 

8:30 ish pm

Ringing that doorbell had never been so hard. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn't count my fingers or the fact that I needed to tell my parents what I did. So picture this,me standing on my porch ringing the doorbell frantically  and sobbing my eyes out as the lights from L's vechical are  pulling away. well lets just skip past me telling Mimmy and Daddy, and me telling them I need to got to the hospital cause of my medication (surprise I'm a screwed up teenager so I need ADHD meds) maybe its reacting with whatever I bonged, to me puking everything up ,and to me hallucinating that my ex boyfriend was there sitting with me (i don't know why him but he looked pretty attractive (as he normally does) He seemed so real. (like honestly I wish you could see him he's so mmmmmm ) but Mimmy told me later I was yelling his name and something about his hair..... wtf right?!?!?)(okay but his hair though👌) sorry but then it was back to  me feeling like I was falling, and blacking out and then throughing  up some more. (Sorry Mimmy for barfing in all your pots and on your rug)  it was an ugly rug anyways. kinda blended in.  

This all happened on friday but my high lasted until saturday night. (lol im a light weight drinker and I got greened out the first time i get high which lasted a good (terrible) 24 hours ....... wow )  so all in all I'm an idiot. and  also I forgot my purse at L's house which I got back today with an awkward how are you feeling from L. (*inside my head* ummmm Im horrible and i hate you because you didnt walk me to my door when i could barley walk so you  know how about just no .... ) what really happened , "Im fine, I have to go to class.... oh Hi Briar lets go"  *cough* cough* 

 Fun times. not. 

Im still afraid to close my eyes because I keep flashing back to what happened. But what I'm scarred of most is that 45 minuets ish  of having  no recall of what happened at L's house except him touching my leg. or maybe I hallucinated that ? I don't know and I don't remember and it terrifies me.

I called my Ex and explained everything that happened. Dumb thing to do? nope. He said there was probably a reason and a lesson I should get off this. hint hint? nudge nudge? slap slap ? WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES AJ YOU LIKE HIM. NO AJ BAD BADABADABAD.< my inner battle. 

now to sum all this up. because its getting to long (sorry)  Did I do it (get high) to rebound from my ex? maybe. Did it work?no. Do I know if I like L or my Ex? nope. cause I'm stupid. You can probably tell I'm a jumbled mess. So yes I learned my lesson . But im just more confused then I was before this all happened. 

I don't even know any more. 

AJ over and out ★

oh wait just kidding I'm back because apperrantly I have to officially add something to this burn book (whoops I guess this ain't just a rant ) , umm so I officially burn L and Me to this book. so ha L you've  been burnt, and I burnt myself. ouch. 

okay for real this time. 

AJ over and out ★