Dear AJ (& Briar, when she gets a chance to read it)

Dear AJ,
First of all, thanks for taking the time to write to me, I was very touched. No thank you to saying I told you so so many times, really? I mean REALLY? Second of all, I'm glad you had such a great spring break without me. I had a wonderful time doing school and practicing all week. #dreamspringbreak #betyouwishyouwereme 

Second of all, I regret to inform you that I have not found any really cute Inuks though I have had my eyes peeled. I bet they're good kissers because most of them have about 11-16 teeth which frees up your tongue to ya know … do what it does. Wow that sounded sketchy. And kind of mean, the thing about the teeth I mean, though it is mostly true. 

I'm having a rather challenging experience right now, to be honest. This culture is so opposite to what I am used to and my personality. I'm in the great north, by the way for any readers reading this. (LOL READERS THAT'S FUNNY CAUSE THERE IS NONE) Privacy is NOT stressed--people's doors are unlocked and at least 10 people come in and out of the house where I'm staying every day. Jetta is bad at socializing. Jetta does not like meeting new people. Jetta does not like making small talk. And Jetta goes absolutely stark raving mad if she doesn't get alone time every day. This is proving to be difficult here. Currently I have holed myself up in my upstairs room in my bed and am doing my best to stay here all evening, despite my mother's protests and the stupidly cute children who keep coming in here to try and get me out. 

Added to all of this is the fact that I'm supposed to be helping my mom out with workshops for the youth from 9-4. My job as 'helper' is to socialize, interact, ask questions of, and generally be friendly to the kids. MY PERSONAL HELL WOULD PROBABLY LOOK SIMILAR TO THIS JOB. As previously stated, I am bad at socializing, interacting, asking questions of and being friendly to people. You may find this difficult to believe seeing as you are my friends and this seems to come easier to me when I'm with you, but believe me, I am awful. 

But the thing is, these kids are all so … strong, I guess is the word I'm looking for. They've had something like 5 suicides in their town this year already, probably some of them people they've known well. And the town where I am is just that--a small town where everyone knows everyone. I can't imagine. Many of the girls dress like boys and have haircuts like boys to the point where I actually thought they were boys until I figured out otherwise. Awkward moment. Yes. Yes it was. Although I don't know the reason for sure, I know that sexual abuse is really rampant here. My mom said over half of the girls my age have had some sort of abuse in their history. So these girls might be dressing as manly and unattractive as possible to avoid being abused, which is just about the saddest thing ever. 

And yet they manage to laugh often, help out without being asked, and pay attention all day, which I'll be honest is sometimes more than I've done. One of the girls said that every night her dad reminds her how she's not his actual daughter. Every night. I can't even imagine. And I wish so much I could just know what to say to these girls and be friendly and socialize but I honestly just sit there frozen with nothing in brain and nothing coming out of my mouth. It makes me so angry and so helpless that I couldn't just be talented at this. 

My mom came into my room after the day today to give me a lecture when I informed her I would not be accompanying her to an old friend of her's house for dinner or practicing violin. I was mad because she kept shooting me dirty looks like 'you could be doing more here' and 'just say something' all day and pretty much said that my attitude sucked and everyone was wondering what was wrong with me at the workshop. 

Which just made things worse because it wasn't an attitude, it's who I am. And if something's wrong with me, something's just wrong with me then. Sorry, mom, that I'm not able to talk about nothing and socialize the way you can. Sorry I can't be with people 24/7 and be chatty and friendly. Sorry I don't talk very much during the day and sorry that I don't want to go to another stranger's house and sit there and listen to you talk for 2 hours. But I need time to be by myself.

Now this just sounds like one big self-centred rant. Which I guess it kind of is, sorry AJ & Briar. There are lots of things I am enjoying about being here. I just can't think of them right now because I'm too mad at my mom and myself.

Anyways, if you made it through good for you! Miss you and see you soon, have a great week at school and give Porcupine a big hug from me! HAHA JK give it to Farmer JK AGAIN I'M IN A WEIRD MOOD DON'T TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY OKAY DON'T HUG ANY BOYS UNLESS YOU WANT TO THEN IT'S OKAY I GUESS K BYE NOW

Jetta

Jettaplane

My dearest  Jetta,

First off Id love to just say a long over due "I told you so". You have no clue how long those words have been sitting in my very being just waiting to surface and be expelled from my fingertips onto the inter-webs. Lets face it Sissy I told you so and well ... it was so ... SO FRICKING RIGHT OF ME! because I TOLD YOU SO. Okay Im done, its out of my system. Just kidding you this is a glorious moment. I told you so young sapling.

 Also congratulations on being able to drive me around places legally. I am SOOO taking advantage of your legal driving skills from now on, so I say lets go celebrate and go shopping in the city. Then after we shop until we drop/run out of money I'll say to you I TOLD YOU SO because I can :) 

Anyways I love yaaaaaa Jettaplane, I  hope you are having fun with the polar bears, don't get mauled. Bring me home a cute eskimo.(I hear they're good kissers) 

AJ over and out

P.S. ~ 

JETTA COME HOME PLEASE 

P.S.S. ~

I told you so :) 

Tactful thinking/Dear Jetta

My friend SmokinGinger (she is a ginger and she smokes weed) anyways she pierced my second earrings for me today with a tac and an apple. What tactful thinking eh ;) (please applaud my fabulous pun)  Don't  worry she sterilized everything! Also she did Briars first holes. Heres a picture of my seconds. I had my cartilage and first done for a while. Anywhoha I hope you are reading this Jetta because you just missed such an eventful day. I hope you are having a fun time gallivanting around with the polar bears in the frozen ice location where you are at without me (teardrop). Also Jetta I skipped chemistry to chill with Blackbeauty and SmokinGinger, also the school dean is pregnant ( that means they had sex in school residents because thats where they live....thats so gross like actually). As I leave you on that wonderful note I am going to go curl up in a small ball with my fleece jets blanket and watch Heroes. xoxox AJ over and out 

And Jetta.... COME HOME 

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU A COOKIE AND THEN IT TAKES IT AWAY AGAIN

So. It's been a while.
My life's been pretty great. I mean, let me just count the ways why my life is awesome today:
1. I'm sick, which is just great because let's face it I love kleenex so much I look for any excuse to use up entire boxes of it at a time, which works now because my nose has recently taken up the occupation of being a living mucous faucet, so kleenex is basically my BFF. 
2. I'm sick on spring break, which means I don't have to miss any school, which is awesome because I freaking love school so much, I'd get separation anxiety from having to stay away for something as little as the flu. 
3. Let's get real here: You know what's really great? Confusion. It's practically my favourite feeling. Next to unproductiveness, laziness, and that eye ache feeling you get after looking at a computer screen too long. All of which I am currently experiencing. And you know what's even better than just plain confusion? Confusion about guys. ESPECIALLY when you thought you had things sorted out and then everything just got screwed up again. It keeps things interesting, that's what I always say. If you know what's going on, well it's not very much fun then. 
4. I got to borrow my brother's clothes. I mean, how cool is that? Because I don't have a pair of comfy sweats to call my own, my brother generously donated his old, ratty navy swim team sweats which I then wore on a trip to the city because sweats are styling'. Especially too-short brother's sweats.
5. One of the underrated pleasures in life: slowly feeling the mucous drain from one nostril to the other. JK, I actually prefer mouth-breathing until your lips turn into real-life replicas of the sahara desert.
6. Best way to feel productive when you have a lot of homework and practicing to do: spend five hours playing online poker and cupcake games. Seriously, if you haven't tried this, nothing will make you feel more rejuvenated and better about yourself.
7. Staying in bed for five hours without moving takes a lot of talent which I am proud to say I possess. 

APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha jk that was all true. *laughs hysterically* *stops laughing* *cries*

Okay so if you couldn't tell, which apparently a lot of people can't, that was all sarcasm. Except for that last bit about it all being true. (A  lot of people at school think I lie through my teeth about everything, which while it may be partially true, is also due to the fact that no-one understands sarcasm)

I guess there are some good things about this week. Like, I got my driver's so I'M THE FIRST ONE BOOYAH BRIAR AND AJ EVEN THOUGH I'M THE YOUNGEST I STILL DO GROWN UP THINGS AND LET THIS BE A LESSON FOR LEAVING ON SPRING BREAK AND ABANDONING ME TO ROT HERE. 

Briar and AJ are off galavanting together on this trip thing, so they're probably having a super fantastic time doing fun things together. I should add that to my list of sarcastically awesome things about this week. 

So sorry for all this random ranting, I'm kind of tired and bored and not sure what to do with myself. Stupid Farmer keeps messaging me and then not replying when I message him back well I don't even care go get eaten by a llama.. 

Stay classy, internet. 

Jetta

P.S. I may also have asked Farmer to sadie's so I just felt it was fair to tell you though if AJ says I told you so I'll be mad so don't you do it AJ 

Sadie Hawkins

Its the time of the year again which I extremely dread....Sadie Hawkins..... and it is quickly approaching (or it feels like that anyways) I have no clue who to ask or how to ask them. Sadie Hawkins for you who do not know is where the girl asks the guy to the school planned dinner and dance.  I have a few people in mind who Im considering as possibilities to ask to Sadie's, but there are pros and cons for each person and for the matter of actually asking them to go with me. The major con is that they might say no, which would be VERY embarrassing and I'd probably be reminded frequently of the fact that I got turned down. Pro's of me asking someone would be if they said yes, and if I got good pictures out of the night. 

 My list of people I could ask;

(Not in order)

My Ex

pro~we look good in pictures together,he's funny

con~he's my ex,I'd have to slow dance with him which could go over well or super awkward, He might wear his glasses which make him look like a super gay male model

Best way to get him to say yes to me: Tell him he's ugly and nobody else would want to go with him (which is totally not true but his ego is bigger then his dick so may as well kill two birds with one stone if you know what I mean) 

Okay to many negative things I am not asking Ex that would be retarded. Why would I even think of asking him? How many times was I dropped as a child? Did i just fall off a turnip truck?

Cardigan Boy

pro~we would have stylin' pictures together,He wears cute clothes, He's a gentleman and would feel to terrible to say no

con~He's a bit awkward, I don't talk to him a lot, He might not talk at all when we are together and I love to chat,ummm he's not really attractive (I say that as nicely as I can) 

Best way to get him to say yes to me: to say please 

Flow

pro~He is a super good friend, He's tall, Kinda cute

Con~ He needs a haircut and wont get one,His hair color is a nicer color then mine and would put me to shame in a picture.  He might show up high or drunk or both at the same time ( I think thats called crunked) 

Best way to make him say yes to me: bribe him or flash him

Well thats all I can think of so far for my list. 

Jetta will land up asking Farmer. Even though she swears up and down and all around she doesn't like him I know she does, you can just tell! And he likes her. All the bullcrap that he says about not wanting to commit to liking someone is hysterical, if you put him and Jetta in a room alone for an hour they'd be all over each other once they actually civilly talked face to face about whats going on between them. Trust me on that one.

Briar will most likely ask Knitter boy because even though she doesn't want to Jetta and I will convince her. Knitter boy so likes her and its so cute to see them interact, no words just quick glances at one other when the other is not looking. ADORABLE. Somedays I wish I was shy like that. 

I don't know why its pretty much mandatory that you ask a guy to go with you to be your date. Especially when theres zero to none good looking guys in the school you attend (Or maybe its just my school where all the weird and unattractive guys are sent) 

Oh well Sadie Hawkins wasn't such a panty dropper either,yet she got a date. So if she can do it I guess I can to.  (And if I cant then I'll transfer to a school filled with ugly girls to make me feel better about myself) 

★AJ over and out......of luck?

OUT. ~AJ

I've never hated myself more then I have now. People say I can get guys and I'm not saying this proudly but i can. I can get a guy but i can't hold on to them long enough. It's stupid. 

There's this guy who I recently dispise, but who i liked before. His name shall be named Trebs cause its his nickname. Anyway Trebs and i were best friends last year then he transferred schools. We didnt ever stop talking because hes my neighbor which is kinda cool. Him and I were playing truth or dare and he dared me to come over so I did and he kissed me. He told me he liked me and I being retarded believed his every word of that. He and I hung out twice more after that and we made out. (it was good not gonna lie) anyways a week later (which was last week Friday ) he sends me a message telling me  its to early to like me because we haven't hung out. UMMM HELLO WE HUNG OUT AND MADE OUT AND NOW YOU'RE ASKING ME TO GET OUT BECAUSE THE FELLINGS FELL OUT?!?!?!  to many outs. 

I feel so stupid. He used me for just making out. thats so retarded. Friendship ruined. Respect crushed. I dont want any other guys in my life, there is to much to loose. Yet I would make a terrible nun.  

AJ 

OVER AND OUT. 

OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT. 

How I Turned Into A Living Cheeto Puff

Hey y'all. So it's been a while. I've not been busy, just lazy, so now that we've gotten that out of the way, you're probably wondering: how can I turn myself into a living cheeto puff?

Well, my friends, you are in for a thrilling surprise. Because I turned myself into a cheeto puff by accident, so I'm sure it's pretty easy to do it on purpose as well. Here's what you got to do:

1) Dye your hair purple with hair dye purchased from Dollarama. Let it look good for 2 weeks, and then watch it fate to a spilled koolaid soaked up on a napkin colour. 
2) Decide you dislike this colour. Go in to get it dyed. 
3) Last minute, decide to go blonde.
4) Bleach your hair. At this point it will turn into a fluorescent, cheeto puff, I just got out of rehab orange. 
5) Let your stylist tell you she'll tone it into a dark blonde with 'butterscotch' hilights.
6) Butterscotch does not equal orange. Someone should have the guts to say this out loud, but no-one does.
7) Leave stylists feeling like someone just ate a family size bag of cheetos and wiped them through your hair.
8) Experience immediate feelings of immense regret

Orange hair, in general, is not a colour that most people want on their heads. It is not very natural, especially if, like me, you have naturally ashy hair with cool undertones. So grey-blonde eyebrows with fiery hair just screams bad dye job. I can't wait to bleach the heck out of my hair some more till it turns actually blonde. I have never had such a bad colour before, and I've had half a head of green hair.

People tell me it doesn't look bad. Well, hypothetically, I suppose it could look worse. Like if you tied some roadkill to your head. Or had a monk ring. 

So you know how they have before and after pictures for these sorts of things? Well, here's mine. Just humour me and pretend the titles are switched.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Apologies for the odd angles and backgrounds, but you know when you're trying not to show your face it's rather hard to take good pictures. Let me assure you that the orange is much more vibrant in person and looks even worse when you can see my face.

This post is really negative, so I'd like to now talk about the silver lining to this.

I googled 'cheeto puff hair' and I came up with some hilarious pictures which I will now share with you. BAM. Just when you think that having orange hair is bad, you realize that it's actually good because you just googled the most random thing and now have these pictures…

i just can't even. i mean. what. like. the cheetos are 99 cents???????

what true boredom looks like

CHEEEEEETOSSSSSSS

SWAG SWAG SWAG

"Dude. Dude. You know what we should do?" "What, man?" "ROAST SOME CHEETOS!" "YEAH DUDE THAT'S AWESOME!" (side note I have no idea what that circle is indicating if you know let me know)

proof that cheetos cannot be sexy (or orange hair either)

cheetos can, however, be terrifying

So I hope you enjoyed my little foray into the weird part of google images and if you've ever had a bad job, then you feel me.

Stay classy, internet.

Jetta