Sadie Hawkins

Its the time of the year again which I extremely dread....Sadie Hawkins..... and it is quickly approaching (or it feels like that anyways) I have no clue who to ask or how to ask them. Sadie Hawkins for you who do not know is where the girl asks the guy to the school planned dinner and dance.  I have a few people in mind who Im considering as possibilities to ask to Sadie's, but there are pros and cons for each person and for the matter of actually asking them to go with me. The major con is that they might say no, which would be VERY embarrassing and I'd probably be reminded frequently of the fact that I got turned down. Pro's of me asking someone would be if they said yes, and if I got good pictures out of the night. 

 My list of people I could ask;

(Not in order)

My Ex

pro~we look good in pictures together,he's funny

con~he's my ex,I'd have to slow dance with him which could go over well or super awkward, He might wear his glasses which make him look like a super gay male model

Best way to get him to say yes to me: Tell him he's ugly and nobody else would want to go with him (which is totally not true but his ego is bigger then his dick so may as well kill two birds with one stone if you know what I mean) 

Okay to many negative things I am not asking Ex that would be retarded. Why would I even think of asking him? How many times was I dropped as a child? Did i just fall off a turnip truck?

Cardigan Boy

pro~we would have stylin' pictures together,He wears cute clothes, He's a gentleman and would feel to terrible to say no

con~He's a bit awkward, I don't talk to him a lot, He might not talk at all when we are together and I love to chat,ummm he's not really attractive (I say that as nicely as I can) 

Best way to get him to say yes to me: to say please 

Flow

pro~He is a super good friend, He's tall, Kinda cute

Con~ He needs a haircut and wont get one,His hair color is a nicer color then mine and would put me to shame in a picture.  He might show up high or drunk or both at the same time ( I think thats called crunked) 

Best way to make him say yes to me: bribe him or flash him

Well thats all I can think of so far for my list. 

Jetta will land up asking Farmer. Even though she swears up and down and all around she doesn't like him I know she does, you can just tell! And he likes her. All the bullcrap that he says about not wanting to commit to liking someone is hysterical, if you put him and Jetta in a room alone for an hour they'd be all over each other once they actually civilly talked face to face about whats going on between them. Trust me on that one.

Briar will most likely ask Knitter boy because even though she doesn't want to Jetta and I will convince her. Knitter boy so likes her and its so cute to see them interact, no words just quick glances at one other when the other is not looking. ADORABLE. Somedays I wish I was shy like that. 

I don't know why its pretty much mandatory that you ask a guy to go with you to be your date. Especially when theres zero to none good looking guys in the school you attend (Or maybe its just my school where all the weird and unattractive guys are sent) 

Oh well Sadie Hawkins wasn't such a panty dropper either,yet she got a date. So if she can do it I guess I can to.  (And if I cant then I'll transfer to a school filled with ugly girls to make me feel better about myself) 

★AJ over and out......of luck?

OUT. ~AJ

I've never hated myself more then I have now. People say I can get guys and I'm not saying this proudly but i can. I can get a guy but i can't hold on to them long enough. It's stupid. 

There's this guy who I recently dispise, but who i liked before. His name shall be named Trebs cause its his nickname. Anyway Trebs and i were best friends last year then he transferred schools. We didnt ever stop talking because hes my neighbor which is kinda cool. Him and I were playing truth or dare and he dared me to come over so I did and he kissed me. He told me he liked me and I being retarded believed his every word of that. He and I hung out twice more after that and we made out. (it was good not gonna lie) anyways a week later (which was last week Friday ) he sends me a message telling me  its to early to like me because we haven't hung out. UMMM HELLO WE HUNG OUT AND MADE OUT AND NOW YOU'RE ASKING ME TO GET OUT BECAUSE THE FELLINGS FELL OUT?!?!?!  to many outs. 

I feel so stupid. He used me for just making out. thats so retarded. Friendship ruined. Respect crushed. I dont want any other guys in my life, there is to much to loose. Yet I would make a terrible nun.  

AJ 

OVER AND OUT. 

OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT. 

How I Turned Into A Living Cheeto Puff

Hey y'all. So it's been a while. I've not been busy, just lazy, so now that we've gotten that out of the way, you're probably wondering: how can I turn myself into a living cheeto puff?

Well, my friends, you are in for a thrilling surprise. Because I turned myself into a cheeto puff by accident, so I'm sure it's pretty easy to do it on purpose as well. Here's what you got to do:

1) Dye your hair purple with hair dye purchased from Dollarama. Let it look good for 2 weeks, and then watch it fate to a spilled koolaid soaked up on a napkin colour. 
2) Decide you dislike this colour. Go in to get it dyed. 
3) Last minute, decide to go blonde.
4) Bleach your hair. At this point it will turn into a fluorescent, cheeto puff, I just got out of rehab orange. 
5) Let your stylist tell you she'll tone it into a dark blonde with 'butterscotch' hilights.
6) Butterscotch does not equal orange. Someone should have the guts to say this out loud, but no-one does.
7) Leave stylists feeling like someone just ate a family size bag of cheetos and wiped them through your hair.
8) Experience immediate feelings of immense regret

Orange hair, in general, is not a colour that most people want on their heads. It is not very natural, especially if, like me, you have naturally ashy hair with cool undertones. So grey-blonde eyebrows with fiery hair just screams bad dye job. I can't wait to bleach the heck out of my hair some more till it turns actually blonde. I have never had such a bad colour before, and I've had half a head of green hair.

People tell me it doesn't look bad. Well, hypothetically, I suppose it could look worse. Like if you tied some roadkill to your head. Or had a monk ring. 

So you know how they have before and after pictures for these sorts of things? Well, here's mine. Just humour me and pretend the titles are switched.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Apologies for the odd angles and backgrounds, but you know when you're trying not to show your face it's rather hard to take good pictures. Let me assure you that the orange is much more vibrant in person and looks even worse when you can see my face.

This post is really negative, so I'd like to now talk about the silver lining to this.

I googled 'cheeto puff hair' and I came up with some hilarious pictures which I will now share with you. BAM. Just when you think that having orange hair is bad, you realize that it's actually good because you just googled the most random thing and now have these pictures…

i just can't even. i mean. what. like. the cheetos are 99 cents???????

what true boredom looks like

CHEEEEEETOSSSSSSS

SWAG SWAG SWAG

"Dude. Dude. You know what we should do?" "What, man?" "ROAST SOME CHEETOS!" "YEAH DUDE THAT'S AWESOME!" (side note I have no idea what that circle is indicating if you know let me know)

proof that cheetos cannot be sexy (or orange hair either)

cheetos can, however, be terrifying

So I hope you enjoyed my little foray into the weird part of google images and if you've ever had a bad job, then you feel me.

Stay classy, internet.

Jetta