Boys, Biology and Bubble Baths ~AJ~

The three B's is what my Today consisted of. Let me start of saying that I am currently in my bath tub under a mound of bubbles and I feel relaxed. RELAXED PEOPLE, I FEEL RELAXED. Isn't it such a beautiful word....relaxed. So here I contently soak behind locked doors with just me, myself, and the burn book.

 I have finally finished my wretched biology test review. Let me tell you it was no fun at all! I woke up at 10am and the after breakfast proceeded to the dreaded bio review and didn't surface until 5pm for supper. Now thats what I call a study session! 

Okay so maybe I wasn't studying the whole time. Maybe I was talking to my ex. Just maybe the topic of friends with benefits was brought to light and just maybe we are. Now replace the "maybe" with "okay yes". 

I admit that my feelings for my Ex are not completely gone but yet I also can not say that I have a "crush" on him because I don't. I think the reason that there are lingering feeling for him is because him and I never really experienced the "normal" awkwardness and the solitary stage that came after a break up. Ex and I just went back to being friends and like nothing ever happened. Maybe for him it was easy to pretend that nothing ever happened but for me it wasn't so easy, I tried to mask the hurt that I felt after we broke up by going on other dates and going back to bad  habits of flirting with anything with a dick. Nothing could honestly replace what I was missing....him. We had a lot in common but yet almost nothing in common at all. Him and I are both adopted (p.s. Im adopted,no joke) and he liked and thrived on sports like it was air,while I on the other hand was  comfortable cheering on the sidelines. We had and still have a good connection. It's just not exactly gravity balanced. I don't think that being friends with benefits will change the way we view each other because we've been there done that, if anything I think it will make our friendship just a little bit more trusting. 

Rereading through this I realized this sounds more like a self persuasive  talk.I don't even know... I guess maybe Im to curious for my own good? Im just kinda excited to see him! I cant deny Ive missed him in "that" sense. 

Well, I no longer have a blanket of bubbles so I think my relaxation time is over and its time to go back to my hectic life. 

AJ over and out 

p.s. Id love your advice,opinions and feedback. 

p.s.s. follow us on twitter @theburnbooktrio

We have Twitter

the title says it all! We now are officially on twitter! follow us @theburnbooktrio !!!!

As well as we would really appreciate you feed back on our blog posts, such as advice,opinions, or just a note on how we could make our blog better, or if you have any questions about us or for us comment bellow! till next time, 

xoxox

Jetta

Briar 

Allura

Dear Jetta xox AJ

Dear Jetta, 

I read your last post about being done with farmer which I am so glad to here! Now id like to say something about it that has been on my chest for the longest time. 

Farmer wasn't right for you at all. I absolutely cringe when I think about you two together, even as much as you did like him. I don't think any guy that breaks up with a girl and kisses her afterwards is worth it. I don't think that any guy that breaks up with a girl out of the blue is worth it. I don't think that any guy who asks to be friends with benefits  is worth it. I don't think any guy who sends dick pics to a ANYONE. is worth it.Farmer has done all of those. As well Farmer flirts with everyone. Like a LITTERLY. He would send me flirty text messages as well as I know for a fact he led his Ex on for the longest time. 

You deserve someone way better then Farmer! You deserve a Prince Charming!!!! someone who will be devoted to just you, instead of flirting with you best friends over text. Someone who will give you those god damn butterflies with your first kiss. Someone who has a cleaner past and a brighter future. Someone who fits you're ideal man list but yet makes you change that list to fit his profile each waking moment you spend falling in love with him. Someone who you can blog all the good things about instead of blogging the problems! 

I know that you will find your Prince Charming or maybe he'll find you. (who knows maybe you've already met him)  But whoever he is, I hope he realizes that he's fallen for one of the most beautiful, talented, insightful person I know, and thats you. And if he doesn't know that..... number one he's not Prince Charming, and number two ill kick his ass to the curb. 

Feel better hun, we'll have to go for a mani pedi sesh soon with Briar. 

xoxox AJ over and out 

p.s. I OFFICIALLY BURN FARMER FOR BEING A TOOL. FOR SHAME YOU DIRTY FARMER 

Done Farming ~Jetta

The title of this post was a clever way to say that I'm done with farmer. If you got that, I love you and let's be best friends, okay? Okay. 

Last night AJ and Briar stayed over in residence at school and AJ and Farmer were messaging. I really don't want to go through all of the details but the gist of it is he doesn't want to date anyone, apparently. And he even told me the same when I 'accidentally' found AJ's iPod and read the messages.

I'm still deciding exactly what I think of this. On the one hand, I think it's good because logically and rationally I do not want to date anyone right now, and much less Farmer because he's a bit of a dink fartface idiot tool interesting person sometimes in relationships.

And I can understand why he doesn't want to date anyone considering he said he's spoken 3 words to his ex since they broke up and actually none of his dating relationships have worked out. 

On the other hand, I guess I'm a little disappointed because I did like him and so even if I shouldn't or wouldn't have dated him, I'm not going to try and deny that I wanted to. Actually what I really want to do is (okay this is going to sound weird and maybe creepy and definitely awkward but here goes) kiss him. Which is, you know, odd because I've never even kissed anyone. Oh yeah, another fun fact for you. Sweet 16 and never been kissed. 

But somehow being a make out buddy sounds actually more appealing than dating someone. Maybe that's messed up. Maybe that's very messed up considering I've never even made out with someone so maybe I should know what's it's like before I decide.

But to be honest, I get sick of people quite easily, especially people that I like and especially when they show interest in me. So the whole commitment aspect of boyfriend/girlfriend scares me. 

And though I'm sick with the flu and at home not at school, I'm actually in quite a good mood for once because I think I'm pretty much over Farmer. I hardly even care now if he likes me or not, and though I might have been disappointed about what he said I wasn't even sad. Plus today I noticed how he does this weird clapping thing with one hand and sang really weirdly in class and it was kind of one of those epiphanies where you realize people aren't always likeable and/or attractive. 

I'm sure all my friends will be very happy to hear this news and it's kind of a relief to write it to be honest. 

So there we are. Judge me if you will for any of this, I don't really blame you. I feel so free. It's wonderful.

Jetta

our ideal men

AJ

-tall, 6' +

-wavy hair (I'm obsessed with wavy hair)

-green eyes (soooo hot. I'm such a sucker for good eyes. if you have good eyes ill date you)

-good dresser 

-nose licker (oh my god Jetta dont write that)

-tanned

-dimples + freckles <3

-a guy that will sing with me

-a guy who knows how to use his lips

-someone who can cook

-hawt ness (a sexy mother beeper)

-will take me to buildabear workshop 

BRIAR

-tall

-muscular

-good sense of style

-nice shoes

-good hairstyle (medium length)

-nice eyes (i just really like eyes. seriously i just stare at everyone's eyes because i think they're so pretty)

-good sense of humor

-they have to be sooooo fetch...and gangsta. like a rapper. like kanye. i love kanye. (jk this was all Jetta) 

JETTA

-they have to be taller than me.... im pretty tall

-has to be really really attractive 

-nice nose

-medium build (not super scrawny or super hugely built)

-confident and outgoing but not cocky

-cant be wishy washy

-he doesn't have to be super smart or good at everything but has to be passionate about something

Stupid ~Briar

Hey there, im just gonna start by saying i really hate boys... well i hate liking boys... and I do. Like boys, that is. And I hate it. So i believe I've mentioned who I like, some dude ive named Knitter or in a previous rant, Stupid 2. Well the whole thing is pretty freaking stupid!!!! Like SOOO stupid that sometimes when I think about it i go and eat chocolate chips and dont even care if i get fat. The deal is, we never EVER talk! Like seriously! WE DONT EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT! Sometimes i want to stare at him just to see how awkward he'll act when he notices. Oh yeah, side fact, we're both awkward. The situation is so hopeless that whenever i think of him i consider just killing  him 'cause seriously its the only way I'd ever get him. My friends say that apparently he likes me too but i think thats a bunch of BULLSHIT!! Well that was awhile back. Like really, the guy probably doesn't even know i exist anymore. Thats what it feels like anyway. 

#ihateignorantboys

#ihatebeingawkward

#ihateawkwardboystoo

P.S. HIS SHOES!!!!!!

-This is Briar, I like shoes.-

How I Met Your Fellow Bloggers (And What I Think of Them) ~Jetta~

I'm sitting in our school library, right now, bored because I have no homework and AJ and Briar are in Chemistry. Let's be honest, who even needs that? I mean the periodic table: No girl wants to here any more about periods. I could rant, but I won't and leave it at THEY SHOULD DROP CHEMISTRY.

Anyways, I thought it might be fun to share how I met AJ and Briar, my first impressions and try to describe them a little more for all of you devoted readers (that was a joke, if you didn't catch it)

I got to know Briar first. In fact she was the first person I really talked to and got to know a little bit in our grade next year. I remember being jealous of her hair, and actually just how pretty she was in general. And also how everyone liked her, because you can't not like Briar. She's the sweetest person ever.

I remember at the very end of last year walking to the store and getting ice cream with her and then playing on the playground. I was a little down at the time and it was because I liked Farmer then, but he liked this blonde girl from the grade below us. She was the first person I ever told that I liked Farmer, and then she told me who she liked as well. It was the first time all year I felt like I actually might be friends with someone in school, not just someone I can sit with at lunch but someone to actually get to know. It made me hopeful for next year.

As for now, well, how to describe Briar? She's got long, soft brown hair that's straight and literally 3 feet long. She has gorgeous eyes and the cutest smile and laugh that makes you laugh too. At first when you meet her you think she's shy and quiet, but when you get to know her you get to know her rebellious and crazy side and that's quite a party too.

I didn't really talk to AJ at all last year, partly because she was with the 'cool group' of people and partly because I didn't really talk to anyone. I still remember my first impression of her in french class, which was that she was shy, quiet, really smart because she kept taking notes on everything, and sweet. Plus her handwriting was so perfect it bothered me.

I'm not quite sure exactly how I started getting to know AJ this year. I can't pinpoint a moment when it happened, it just did. Now that I know her, I know she isn't shy or quiet but rather outgoing, hilarious and never boring. There's always something going on in her life, and usually one or two guys as well (but no she's not a player, it's not her fault she's gorgeous and confident and attracts guys like moulding food attracts flies. Okay that's not a good analogy, I'm sorry AJ, but you get the picture). There's never a dull moment when you're with her and although you might not guess it she is a genuinely lovely person as well. She's never said a mean thing to me and she makes you feel better about yourself when she's with you.

If you were to meet all three of us for the first time, what would you think?

You'd probably think that Briar was she shy, smart, and nice one. AJ would be the popular, pretty and outgoing one and I'm not quite sure what I'd be. The awkward one that you don't know what to do with, maybe.

And though you might be partially right, you'd also be wrong just by omission. Never judge a person by your first impression, and never think you know everything about someone, because you might just be wrong.

Mind Monsters ~Jetta~

I don't know about you, but I've always had a rather overactive imagination. Not that I'm complaining, really, I mean I'd probably take that over a non-functioning one and there are perks to it, obviously. But there are also downsides. Large downsides. Large, scary downsides that hide in dark corners and make weird sounds at you when you're home alone. 

Okay that was melodramatic. My imagination again, sorry. 

In addition to this overactive mind, I also have a worrying problem. I worry incessantly about almost everything. What if I sit down for lunch first and no-one else sits at my table? What if I drop my tray all over someone that I don't know? What if this guy with the pedo stache sitting next to me want to chop me into little pieces? That kind of thing. And the last thing that really contributes to this is my worst-case scenario mentality. They say people who have this mentality think that if they cover the worst thing that could possibly happen, then they're prepared for anything. Sort of the idea of not getting excited for things in case they don't happen, but in reverse. Yes, that weird scratching noise could be the dog wanting to go out but it could also be cold, clawed fingers scratching at the door, searching for the doorknob and OH GOD I'M GOING TO DIE WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.

Things that make my mind monsters worse:
1) Being home alone
2) Darkness
3) Weird sounds
4) Having to take the dog outside when there is most probably a murderous clown lurking under the trampoline wanting to dismember me slowly and then bury me under a drift for my parents to find when the snow melts.

Things that are all true as of right now: The above.

SO yeah I am freaking out a little bit. Though it's better now. I was recording myself singing and playing piano, precisely because there is no-one home, and heard a weird sound and whipped around so fast I almost got windburn. The funniest part is that I caught it on tape so I can watch myself overreact as many times as I like. Wait, that's not funny.

When I was younger, I had a really, really hard time falling asleep at night. Embarrassing confession: I slept on my parent's floor a lot until I was around 10-11. (but bonus: I like sleeping on floors now) My mind would just come up with the creepiest, most random-ass things that would terrify me and I would lay awake and sweat until my sheets were wetter than if I'd actually wet the bed. I remember having an earnest conversation with my dad about how I could control my thoughts and I didn't have to do this to myself that it was up to me. 

Well, yes dad, I guess you were partially right. In the same way as hypothetically you can control an angry lion who hasn't had food in a few days with a chunk of raw steak. It can be done, but there's a good chance that the lion will find an even larger chunk of raw meat (you) and dig into that instead. Maybe that's a bad metaphor. I guess what I'm getting at is, almost everything has a reward and a punishment, and up and a down side. I wouldn't trade the good parts of an imagination for the world, but sometimes people don't see the downsides. In fact sometimes you yourself have a hard time recognizing them. It's like when you go to bed, and think of this terrifying thing and are petrified with fear half the night, and then you wake up in the morning and you're like pfffff yeah like that was even a little scary and then the same thing happens again that night? Or when you get sick and are in pain and you say you'll never take not feeling pain for granted again but then of course you do the next day? 

It's a cycle. There's ups and downs just like life, and all I'm really trying to do here is convince myself that I'm on a ferris wheel and I may be at the bottom now but I'm going up. 

Right?

Of course.

Now excuse me while I go and turn on all the lights and hide under the covers with the phone beside me in case of emergencies. 

Guys and Goldfish ~AJ~

You will never understand a guy. They are unpredictable and can turn into someone you barley know. There for I advise that instead of a man in your life you need a goldfish , because goldfish  can't shatter you're heart or expectations. Tomorrow Im going to buy a goldfish and give up guys until that damn goldfish dies.

xox AJ

I don't care that this is short, Im to flustered to blog anything further today.

Boy Problems/Guy Issues/Man Rants ~Jetta~

"I am not the kind of person people ask for their number. I'm the kind of person weird old people compliment in WalMart. "

When you read the above, please don't judge to harshly. Also, try to keep an open mind when I tell you I sent that to my crush. The quote really doesn't have much to do with what this post is about, but I just thought it had a nice ring to it and it was a sufficiently embarrassing thing to open with, so there it is.

The guy that I like will from here on in be called Farmer, obviously because it takes to long to spell the guy I like and crush sounds awkward and painful. 

I've been going to my current school for 2 years now, and in that short amount of time I have had a crush on Farmer on 3 separate occasions. This is embarrassing. Proceed to feel embarrassed for me. Alright, continuing. Last year, Farmer liked me for a while around springtime, allegedly. Here, allegedly means I heard it from a few people but not directly from him, but I am choosing to believe it. Anyways, I didn't like him at that time, instead I liked Wise Man, but that's another story for another time. I did however like Farmer later, as in after he stopped liking me but before the school year was over. 

I've always had a flair for being fashionably late. 

At the beginning of this year again I liked him, but unfortunately he had no interest in going there, (there here meaning beyond platonic affections) and eventually got a girlfriend, who, again obviously, was not me. I would also like to say that I did stop liking him before and during his period of attachment to said other girl, just because I feel like y'all should know that. 

And then they broke up, and then about 2 months after that, I began to like him again. Only this time, it appeared that there might be a hope. Faint. Very faint. Like a tea light lit a mile away at midnight during a blizzard. But still. Even if you can't see it you can imagine it. 

Jesus Girl asked Farmer if he liked me, and the story went through several revisions when she told it afterwards, but the first story went something like this:

Jesus Girl (JG): Do you like Elyse?
Farmer: maybe….
JG: C'mon do you?
Farmer: You can tell her I do. No wait, don't tell her anything. No, I don't. I actually don't like her.

Well, okay, confusing little man. You don't like me, I can deal, it's okay. That's what I was trying to convince myself, but it wasn't working for several reasons:
1) JG sometimes seems like she might even have a little thing for Farmer herself, though maybe it's just me overreacting.
2) I don't really trust JG all that much anyways
3) The story changed every time she told it, so who knows what really was said
4) Well he said to tell me that he liked me….granted afterwards he said he really didn't, but if he said it there's a slight possibility it might have been true. Right? Right?

But in the end, logic won out and I said fine, he doesn't like me. But if he doesn't like me he can at least have the decency to not act like it sometimes, aka cut the flirting. AJ was over and I told her that I wanted to talk to him about this, but I chickened out so she did it. And he said to her that he really just liked me as a friend. And of course I do trust AJ a lot more than Jesus Girl so I believed her and thought that was that.

BUT THEN (of course there's a but, we've barely gotten started it isn't even confusing yet) I was talking to Farmer on Facebook while AJ and Briar were there, and he basically said that he couldn't like me due to circumstances in his past with his ex, and then said that it really wasn't couldn't, just more bad timing, and then said he thought I got the hint, which I didn't so I asked him what the hint was, and he said it was that he did like me. 

So. There's that. FRAKKKKING CONFUSING RIGHT MAN.

This was also almost a month ago. Who knows what's changed since then? I don't. I don't have a clue. I feel so lost in all of this.

I did however talk to Farmer's ex recently, who seemed a little overly curious as to what there was between us (apparently everyone in school thinks there's a 'thing') and I was quite honest because she's honestly a lovely person. But she didn't seem to hate me or anything, in fact she said if something were to happen she wouldn't be mad. But I get the feeling she might be sad, which really makes me stop and think. Although we aren't friends and in fact hardly talk, she's such a nice and sweet person that it makes me feel horrible to think that anything happening between me and Farmer might be hurting her. So that's strike one against the possibility of something.

Strike two is in the form of Spy, who is a girl in our grade nicknamed here Spy because she has a gift of being able to talk to anyone, anywhere and about anything and also the knowledge of everyone's secrets.

She told me that I shouldn't date Farmer under any circumstances right now as I would end up getting hurt badly. She wouldn't say any more and she was very cryptic about it, but she's been on my case every since then if it appears as though Farmer and I might be flirting. Spy has a bad habit of lying sometimes, but I'm pretty sure about this she was serious, though mysterious. So that's strike 2.

Strike 3 is that this whole thing is just driving me crazy. He flirts with me during class but then says things like: I don't like anyone or there's no-one special for me. He'll compliment me and then not respond to a fb message for forever (first world problems and overreactions maybe I know). And I hate that these things bother me but they do. I really think my life would be so much less complicated without this whole big messy …mess.

I've decided that one thing I'm going to do is talk to Farmer's ex. Even though I don't know her that well I want to see if she knows what Spy won't tell me, and also if she really would be hurt if something were to happen. And then once that's done, I need to make a decision once and for all:

Either I'm going to confront him and talk to him and person and figure out how he feels and what's going to happen.

Or I'm going to make myself stop liking him and be just friends, however long that may take.

But I'm sick of this in-between thing.

Sorry for the monstrous long post at 12 at night, but it feels good to have this off my chest. Judge me how you will now, and if you made it this far kudos to you.

To end, I'd like to share with you something I remember writing about 2 years ago when I had a crush that I thought was bad. It was in a letter (obviously not sent) to him:

"If I were brave I could tell you how I feel and ask if you feel the same. If I was patient I could be content with waiting. But I am neither, so I am stuck in whatever hell this is, waiting and wondering and watching for a sign."

*side note I hope y'all don't think I'm really conceited for quoting myself twice in this post. I do not think I have better quotes than some people, I just happened to remember them and think they fit--ahh who am I kidding I actually just am too lazy to look up other ones

11 Things About Us

BRIAR

1. I have really, really, really long hair.
2. I have about 80 pairs of shoes and when I go shopping I buy at least two more pairs every time. 
3. I don't go shopping a lot
4. I don't find myself interesting (but she really is)
5. I shaved the side of my head a couple months ago
6. I like Knitter, it's stupid, so kill me
7. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE cheese and crackers!!!
8. I can get away with anything… maybe
9. I think that facial hair is the most disgusting, most horrendously revolting thing a guy could ever do to his face.
10. I like hippos because they're fat and make me feel good about myself
11. I don't like spicy food, it's too hot to handle 

JETTA

1. I was homeschooled until grade 10.
2. I used to be a really smart kid (like a genius toddler). Then I grew up and got dumber.
3.  I recently dyed my hair purple just for kicks in a hotel room with dye from a dollar store. Cause I'm smart like that. (See above)
4. I play violin but I hate it, especially because I'm good at it. It's my mom's kryptonite though so I'm stuck with it.
5. My favourite colour is blue. Light blue. 
6. I like horses and riding them and I used to have one named Phoenix before she bucked me off and cut her leg and my parents made me sell her.
7. I never go to school on Mondays. Instead I have violin lessons and orchestra practice. #4dayweekseveryweekbooyah 
8. #ihatehashtagsandirony
9. I LIKE FARMER OKAY I SAID IT AND IT SUCKS BUT IT'S TRUE AS OF RIGHT NOW 
10. I have a minor mascara addiction
11. I like socks. Okay bye. 
*side note yes AJ has 16 because she is more interesting and creative than us, wow AJ way to be an overachiever JUST KIDDING

AJ

1.  Im in grade 11. I hate school. I think its dumb and I never do my homework,It's a waste of time. and also I cant sit down to study for very long  because...

2. .....I have ADHD, which make me awesome 24/7 (just totally kidding I'm annoying as Frick somedays I even annoy myself when I talk ) . but  I like to talk . 

3. People come to me with their problems but they don't know the  half of my problems, this is partly why I'm blogging. 

4. My favorite color is red and pink and sparkles 

5. I like horror movies but not gory horror movies. I hate animated movies except for frozen.  

6. My longest relationship was 6ish months. 

7. My favorite food is pulled pork made with beer and cheesecake. 

8.  I love mikes hard lemonade  and i mean L O V E ! 

9.  My favorite animal is a cheetah and a pink flamingo 

10. I've  been in love .

11. I have fantastic come backs. (not to brag or anything but honestly.) 

12. my high score is 39 on flappy bird. 

13. I can read lips, and I know some basic conversational sign language. (Its always fascinated me)

14. I love traveling, I fly somewhere every summer. (In USA or Canada) 

15. I have no clue what I want to be when I "grow up" (maybe its because I never wanna grow up) 


16. my parents call me a diva on a daily basis and im okay with that because face it were all a diva once and awhile. i cant help it .

High time ~AJ~

Hey y'all I hope you all had a good weekend! Im finally feeling normal enough to start blogging. Im gonna just jump to why I wasn't feeling normal. but ill begin with the back story of it. 

My best guy friend and I broke up about a month ago (now my ex boyfriend but we're still good friends)  Him and I are still pretty  close, and no I'm not over him because I'm just not. There is no better explanation I can give you. (this random starter fact will make sense at the end) (hopefully)

But anyways this weekend I got asked out on a date by this wonderful guy I'm going to call "L". He goes to our school. He's tall (tall guys are perfect because Im only like 5"4 ish', hes like 6"2') and he's cute, an has what I consider an acceptable hockey flow. L is the typical bad boy, good looks, good dresser, has his way with the ladies, and a history with partying and partying related "activities".  

My recall of my Friday night date

7:00 ish pm 

So here I was riding passenger with L driving after we had picked out the movie "Bad Grampa"  and L asks if we should go cruising or not, and of course me being all giddy and stuff like that I said yes. (idiot idiot idiot idiot) 

7:15 ish pm

Then he pulls out a water bottle, (ohhhahhhhh waterbottle)  but you see dear darlings this water bottle is a homemade bong which is used to smoke weed. We parked in a parking lot out in the outskirts of town and I got the offer to smoke a bong. (I had asked to do it once before christmas because I was super curious and wanted to impress L because ive liked him befor) but now this was for real, So I said sure (idiot idiot idiot) I did it once and coughed so hard i thought i had no throat, so I said okay no more for me. But then L being a "gentle man " helped me do it again though the right way except I inhaled to much that I coughed and suddenly felt like i was glitching.  well this is what high feels like....oh shit my parents are going to kill me. (sorry i swore,but it was my thoughts at that moment) 

I remember him giving me eye drops and I told him what about my mascara it might get ruined and He started to laugh at me. (but like honestly I'm still myself apparently when I'm high, worried about my make up  ha wow AJ way to be on your game props to me ). 

7:30pm

So we drove back to his house which I don't remember how I got to his basement I just remember sitting on his couch thinking how fuzzy my tongue was. He was beside me and I cuddled up to him and I closed my eyes (idiot idiot idiot) 

8:19 ish pm 

I felt like I was spiraling through all the wrong things I had done in my life and that I was going to gradually fall into hell, but then I realized I was super blazed and told L something or at least tried to but it came out as murmurs. He said something i don't remember what but the all of sudden  I was just sitting there on his couch and started crying,and sobbing that something  was wrong  and I wanted it to be gone.   and yes I cried with my mascara (which wasn't waterproof) and then there was him trying to comfort me and telling me not to cry and that id be alright the feeling would go away in a couple hours. (okay that was kinda cute but i felt like I was dying ,so no,not so cute) I couldn't breath and I couldn't stand properly on my own, he had to basically hold me to make it up the stairs after I cried for him  to drive me home. (I hate crying) 

In the car I was breathing so hard I was almost hyperventilating or thats what it felt like to me. I think he held my hand , I don't know maybe that was my hand holding my other hand . I dont know. 

This was also the first time i didn't kiss a guy goodbye when getting out of the car. (It was because my tongue felt like it was fuzzy like fleece) oh well he deserved not getting kissed that night. (no offense to him and all but it was kinda his fault I felt fuzzy ) 

8:30 ish pm

Ringing that doorbell had never been so hard. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn't count my fingers or the fact that I needed to tell my parents what I did. So picture this,me standing on my porch ringing the doorbell frantically  and sobbing my eyes out as the lights from L's vechical are  pulling away. well lets just skip past me telling Mimmy and Daddy, and me telling them I need to got to the hospital cause of my medication (surprise I'm a screwed up teenager so I need ADHD meds) maybe its reacting with whatever I bonged, to me puking everything up ,and to me hallucinating that my ex boyfriend was there sitting with me (i don't know why him but he looked pretty attractive (as he normally does) He seemed so real. (like honestly I wish you could see him he's so mmmmmm ) but Mimmy told me later I was yelling his name and something about his hair..... wtf right?!?!?)(okay but his hair though👌) sorry but then it was back to  me feeling like I was falling, and blacking out and then throughing  up some more. (Sorry Mimmy for barfing in all your pots and on your rug)  it was an ugly rug anyways. kinda blended in.  

This all happened on friday but my high lasted until saturday night. (lol im a light weight drinker and I got greened out the first time i get high which lasted a good (terrible) 24 hours ....... wow )  so all in all I'm an idiot. and  also I forgot my purse at L's house which I got back today with an awkward how are you feeling from L. (*inside my head* ummmm Im horrible and i hate you because you didnt walk me to my door when i could barley walk so you  know how about just no .... ) what really happened , "Im fine, I have to go to class.... oh Hi Briar lets go"  *cough* cough* 

 Fun times. not. 

Im still afraid to close my eyes because I keep flashing back to what happened. But what I'm scarred of most is that 45 minuets ish  of having  no recall of what happened at L's house except him touching my leg. or maybe I hallucinated that ? I don't know and I don't remember and it terrifies me.

I called my Ex and explained everything that happened. Dumb thing to do? nope. He said there was probably a reason and a lesson I should get off this. hint hint? nudge nudge? slap slap ? WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES AJ YOU LIKE HIM. NO AJ BAD BADABADABAD.< my inner battle. 

now to sum all this up. because its getting to long (sorry)  Did I do it (get high) to rebound from my ex? maybe. Did it work?no. Do I know if I like L or my Ex? nope. cause I'm stupid. You can probably tell I'm a jumbled mess. So yes I learned my lesson . But im just more confused then I was before this all happened. 

I don't even know any more. 

AJ over and out ★

oh wait just kidding I'm back because apperrantly I have to officially add something to this burn book (whoops I guess this ain't just a rant ) , umm so I officially burn L and Me to this book. so ha L you've  been burnt, and I burnt myself. ouch. 

okay for real this time. 

AJ over and out ★

What WE Look Like

Guess whose eyes are whose!

                            

…Okay, it's in alphabetical order so it's not that hard.

xoxo
Briar--Jetta--Allura

Welcome to our World

Welcome to our life. 

I'm Jetta Skye.

AJ here, its short for my repulsive full name Allura Jade.

And this is Briar Rose, this is awkward.

We're starting this blog to have a space to rant about high school. Like any typical high school girls, we face the everyday pressures, challenges and drama--there is NEVER a dull moment. 

So why us three? What's special about us?

Nothing, really. We're normal (in the loosest definition of the word). 

Though we all went to the same school last year, we really only became friends this year in Grade 11.  

Last year I was quiet and awkward and I didn't really talk to anyone in our grade because I was sort of in 2 grades at once. 

I was also quiet. And lets face it, I'm still quiet.

Okay well my story is a little different.  I was the bold one and I still am, I like to talk, a lot, and I speak my mind, no shame.

If we were going to try and define each of us in a few words, Briar would be the nice, sweet, quiet one. Jetta would be the insightful, nerdy, talented one. (with nice legs)  Allura would be the crazy, hilarious, and turns all the guys heads. (Bullshit!) (Suck it.)

But there's more, obviously. That's why we're friends. We have a different side that comes out when we're all together. Briar's got her inner rebel, Allura defies her stereotypes and Jetta's just Jetta. (that was a lot of J's). 

We're calling our blog the burn book because of a little pink sequinned book currently stashed under Jetta's pillow. It contains details of all the girls in our class, crushes and dirty little secrets. Except a blog is more fun. May as well share it with the world.

Obviously, we won't use any real names. These aren't our real names either, SURPRISE! We don't want people from our school reading this. So who knows--we could be from your school. 

Stay tuned for posts about all the juicy high school gossip (That makes it sound like a fruit) (You do better.)

Stay classy, internet!

ummm or how about not because that sounds retarded, hmm, keep it real and keep it clean 

You're one to talk…

SEXY ALL THE WAY!!!!!

Dont quit on us, we'll be back, but for now farewell and cheers. 

Jettas throwing up cause she's choking i think or maybe its a bad hang over lol it was a blood clot. oh wait nope it was barf.

What a way to end a blog, thanks Allura!

You're welcome. We'll see you all later and STAY CLASSY!