How I Turned Into A Living Cheeto Puff

Hey y'all. So it's been a while. I've not been busy, just lazy, so now that we've gotten that out of the way, you're probably wondering: how can I turn myself into a living cheeto puff?

Well, my friends, you are in for a thrilling surprise. Because I turned myself into a cheeto puff by accident, so I'm sure it's pretty easy to do it on purpose as well. Here's what you got to do:

1) Dye your hair purple with hair dye purchased from Dollarama. Let it look good for 2 weeks, and then watch it fate to a spilled koolaid soaked up on a napkin colour. 
2) Decide you dislike this colour. Go in to get it dyed. 
3) Last minute, decide to go blonde.
4) Bleach your hair. At this point it will turn into a fluorescent, cheeto puff, I just got out of rehab orange. 
5) Let your stylist tell you she'll tone it into a dark blonde with 'butterscotch' hilights.
6) Butterscotch does not equal orange. Someone should have the guts to say this out loud, but no-one does.
7) Leave stylists feeling like someone just ate a family size bag of cheetos and wiped them through your hair.
8) Experience immediate feelings of immense regret

Orange hair, in general, is not a colour that most people want on their heads. It is not very natural, especially if, like me, you have naturally ashy hair with cool undertones. So grey-blonde eyebrows with fiery hair just screams bad dye job. I can't wait to bleach the heck out of my hair some more till it turns actually blonde. I have never had such a bad colour before, and I've had half a head of green hair.

People tell me it doesn't look bad. Well, hypothetically, I suppose it could look worse. Like if you tied some roadkill to your head. Or had a monk ring. 

So you know how they have before and after pictures for these sorts of things? Well, here's mine. Just humour me and pretend the titles are switched.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Apologies for the odd angles and backgrounds, but you know when you're trying not to show your face it's rather hard to take good pictures. Let me assure you that the orange is much more vibrant in person and looks even worse when you can see my face.

This post is really negative, so I'd like to now talk about the silver lining to this.

I googled 'cheeto puff hair' and I came up with some hilarious pictures which I will now share with you. BAM. Just when you think that having orange hair is bad, you realize that it's actually good because you just googled the most random thing and now have these pictures…

i just can't even. i mean. what. like. the cheetos are 99 cents???????

what true boredom looks like

CHEEEEEETOSSSSSSS

SWAG SWAG SWAG

"Dude. Dude. You know what we should do?" "What, man?" "ROAST SOME CHEETOS!" "YEAH DUDE THAT'S AWESOME!" (side note I have no idea what that circle is indicating if you know let me know)

proof that cheetos cannot be sexy (or orange hair either)

cheetos can, however, be terrifying

So I hope you enjoyed my little foray into the weird part of google images and if you've ever had a bad job, then you feel me.

Stay classy, internet.

Jetta